Transition, transition…. transition.

{The title of this blog post is being sung in my head to the song “Tradition” from fiddler on the roof. Try it, it might make you smile.}

I am a few months into being on the floor full time and it has not always been a smooth transition. Not only am I feeling overwhelmed with all of the information I need to learn (that I didn’t learn in nursing school, but that is another post for another day), but my family is also adjusting to a new schedule where I am gone 14-15 hours a day. It is definitely getting better and we are all getting used to the new normal, but it is a choice we all have to make every day to try and accept how things are for the foreseeable future.

I know that this blog was started to document my progress through nursing school, but I’m finding that the transition to practice is far more challenging than nursing school ever was. The bonus is that now I get paid and we all have health insurance. That being said, I’m going to try and outline some of the issues we have faced and what we are doing or plan to do to address them. I’m not saying that this is how it will be for all nurses starting out in their career, but I hope that perhaps it could help at least one person.

Opposite, crazy full schedules.
– My husband is working his same schedule which is your traditional Monday to Friday, 7am to 3pm {ish}. He also trains which means he is out of the house from 6:30pm – 10pm several nights a week. On the other hand, I am working a rotating schedule that includes every other weekend {the time we normally spend together} which means that during the week when I am at work, he doesn’t get to train or we end up with a crazy child handoff process that usually means either I don’t get to bed on time or my kid doesn’t. Sleep deprivation does not go over well for anyone in this house, so this is pretty troublesome. So what are we doing about it? We are trying very hard to be intentional with the time we have together and we are both making sacrifices along the way. There are nights where I stay up a little later so we can talk face to face for more than 5 minutes and he skips some nights of training so we can be together. It makes for some long days, but work is far more tolerable when we are on the same page. Don’t get me wrong, there are weeks where life doesn’t go according to plan and we go days without a meaningful conversation outside of disaster management. We don’t always get it right, but we are trying.

Changing roles.
– Before I started nursing school I worked from my home office. That meant I had a lot of freedom to do laundry, start dinner, and other things that are easy to do when you have a quick 10 minute break. My husband has always been good at helping around the house, but for the most part, I did the majority of those things while he was at work. {It was my choice. Not a mandate.} Not only is that impossible now, but I have limited time {and energy} when I do get to be at home. That means accomplishing these small, but necessary things might as well be climbing Mt. Everest. Even my off days have presented a bit of an issue. All I want to do is sleep until I’m done sleeping and do as little as possible. I know this isn’t feasible as an adult with responsibilities and family, well maybe not every day, but I’m finding on top of the physical exhaustion I get caregiver burnout and even though I want to do everything I used to do, it isn’t possible. {Yet another post for another day.} So what are we doing about it? Well, it comes down to communication and managing our expectations of each other. Yes there is that barrier of not really seeing each other in person for more than 5-10 minutes every day, but texting, phone calls, and using our time together to readjust and recalibrate expectations {mostly of ourselves} seems to help. We have always said, as long as we both don’t have an awful day at the same time, we are good to go. Unfortunately, it happens… And then we apologize later.

Communication
– I kind of touched on it, but communication has been interesting, especially about changing work schedules, appointments, and now with our latest life decisions, scheduling contractors. {Did I fail to mention homeschooling? Because there’s that as well.} If we didn’t have a Google calendar that we can both see, I don’t think we would be able to make it. I am also trying to convince him to put the Walmart grocery app on his phone so he can add groceries and get notifications about pick ups. That being said, I get why he doesn’t want one more app. I often get overwhelmed by the number of apps that I use daily and long for the days of paper calendars {even though I still have two… one in the kitchen and one in my purse}, apps that allow us to communicate even if not directly has helped a ton. I’m sure there are more wonderful apps out there that people use to organize their lives, but I’m too tired to find them. Any suggestions are always welcome!

Date Night
– I feel like this one is kind of a joke at this point. It is so important for couples to spend time together {with AND without their children}. However, right now our dates include yelling over chain saws and trips to the hardware store. It’s silly, but with all that is going on right now, there really isn’t much to do on a date night. We aren’t partiers and the thought of putting my fingers inside a bowling ball makes me want to cut my fingers off with a spoon. I can get as rough and tumble as the next tomboy, but every now and then a girl just wants to put on a little extra makeup, a cute outfit, and have her husband ooh and aah over her effort. To be honest, that sounds great in theory, but it also sounds like a whole lot of work and effort that I just don’t have the energy for. So for now, our dates look a lot like a DIY network show and you know what? I’m 100% okay with that. We are an awesome team and doing projects together makes my heart happy. Some day soon we will get all dressed up and hit the town, but I am content for now with old baseball caps, work gloves, and sweat.

Mom Guilt
– If you know, then you know. You are tired. You are exhausted. You have been on your feet for 12+ hours and all you want to do is sit and not talk to anyone for 5 minutes, but you can’t because it is bedtime and you know they miss you and you do miss them, however you are so tired the thought of dodging the lego bombs on the floor to get to your kids bed it just too much and you really could just sit there and cry until tomorrow. Just me? But seriously, I feel awful when I get home because I am just so spent emotionally and physically that there really isn’t much left for my son. We have a routine where he gets a kiss with our bodies as far apart as possible when I walk in the door before I start the long process of decontamination. A little kiss buys me some time so I can shower and wash off the covid and frustration. Thankfully, his bedtime is shortly after I get home {before actually, but we have wiggle room now that he doesn’t have to report to a school building by a certain time. Homeschool perk numero uno.} Like a true mother, every time I think I would rather cut off my tired and aching feet than walk the 10 feet to his bedroom to tuck him in, I feel awful and I do my best to chastise myself for not embracing the beauty of my kid wanting to be tucked in. I swear, I should have been Catholic. I’m really good at feeling guilty. So what do I do to fix it? I suck it up and dodge the legos and tuck him in and then collapse into my bed for a short night of sleep before I get up and do it all again the next day. That and when I have a day off, I do try and spend as much time with him as possible filling up his adorable little quality time love tank. To be honest, I don’t really have a good solution for this one. I think that is the plight of every mom everywhere regardless of her chosen profession.

There you have it. I’m sure there are more things that I’m not thinking of right now, but since I hav been working on this post for over 3 weeks, I’m just going to call it good and publish it. Not that people are beating down my door for more content, but at least then you know that I am still alive.