The fork in the road.

It is a very exciting time around here.  I did really well on my practicum, I have ordered and received my pin for my ceremony and I am trying to find a dress and shoes to wear (I forgot I have to wear long sleeves to cover my tattoos… lame).  I am around 100 days away from my pinning ceremony and I am stuck somewhere between disbelief and wondering what took so long.  With the end of my program quickly approaching, the topic of “where do you want to be a nurse” is becoming part of almost every conversation.  I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do, but the more I think about it, the more uncertain I am about my future.

I went into the program with the intent to be in the ER and focusing on getting my SANE and trauma certifications ASAP.  However, I always held in the back of my mind that I would love to be an L&D nurse.  I was present for the birth of nieces and nephews and I am really passionate about women getting the support they want before, during, and after labor and delivery.  Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE has an opinion on how you should approach your new career and where you should end up.  Some of them are very encouraging and supportive and others, well, not so much.

I applied for tech jobs at a local hospital throughout the program and until the latest application (submitted in the beginning of December), I was informed I was not selected for the position within 10 days.  Currently I have two open applications, one with the mommas and one with the traumas.  I won’t even get into the mind warp that is trying to figure out when to apply for real nursing jobs, let alone getting hired on for a tech job potentially months before I can be hired as an RN.  {This is the stuff they don’t tell you about in nursing school.}

I came to the conclusion that the right job will open up for me and that will be where I need to start, but the panic is setting in {surprise, surprise} about the when’s, where’s, what’s, and who’s.  I want to work somewhere that I feel a passion for the people and place {idyllic thinking, I know}, but is it really impossible to find a job you love?

Regardless of where I end up, I still have one semester left to go.  So far it has been very strange only having to be on campus one day a week and just kind of floating around the rest of the time.  I even started a new hobby {because I didn’t have enough already}.  My son even told me this morning that it’s like I have a really long weekend every week.  Yeah kid, 6 days off and one day on is definitely a long weekend.  It would be great if the rest of the semester would go as easily as it has the last two weeks, but that is truly delusional.  I’m sure the other shoe is just waiting to fall and the full brunt of the semester is due to come crashing down on me at any moment.  Until then, I will enjoy the abundance of free time and naps.

Right on time.

The first day, no week, of the semester is always a struggle for me.  Everything seems super overwhelming and you don’t quite have the rhythm down just yet.  Maybe it is isolated to my particular learning establishment, but the sheer volume of misinformation that they put out is astonishing.  Yesterday we received an email stating our class times.  Low and behold, it is incorrect.  The only reason we found out was because someone caught in on the course calendar.  Many people are now having to call into work, cancel appointments {that’s me}, and scramble to find childcare.  If this was the first or even second time something like this has happened, I think it wouldn’t bother me so much.  However, this is a regular occurrence over every single semester that I have attended for this program.  Am I crazy?  Is this normal in all nursing programs?

Either way, my final semester of nursing school us underway.  I have printed every document from our online resource, organized it all in a binder {complete with color-coded tabs}, and made sure my uniforms are ready to go.  I don’t know what else I can do to prepare for the craziness other than to brace myself and hang on tight.

Here’s to the final stretch!