We gotta keep ’em separated.

I am finding it very difficult to keep the school stress and the home stress from combining together to make some horrible, volatile substance that is bound to explode my your face and make a giant mess and yet another thing to take care of and clean up.

I have made my lists of things I need to do in the near future {I love lists.  I make lists of the lists I want to make.  It’s a sickness.}  This list includes finishing most of the odds and ends/busy kind of work that includes drug cards, printing out power points, and knocking out a handful of care maps.  With the holiday coming up, I have an extra day to attack the current work load so I’m trying my best to be optimistic.  However, my powers of personal persuasion are quickly diminishing as the home life stuff starts piling up.  Granted, it is nothing I can actually do to correct or alleviate (sickness, worry, what-if’s, and self doubt), so I’m kind of up a creek on that front.

I spent a good portion of last Saturday deep cleaning most of my house.  {Let’s face it, doing fun stuff with my people is way more enticing than cleaning.}  With that said, I should be pretty good to go for at least the summer as far as big cleaning jobs go.  {Don’t judge me.  My house isn’t disgusting or anything.  I just don’t dust every inch of my home every day, or even every week.  And I have two dogs.  And a kid.  And a husband.  And well, I live in a giant sandbox.}  It’s just that it seems that when it rains, it pours, and lately my family has been reaching down deep to muster the emotional fortitude to face one crappy situation after the next.  It just sucks and while I can rationalize my way out of the weight of the worry and concern most of the time, there are days where it just sits too heavy to shake.

I say all of that to say, that there are good days, and there are bad days.  {And there are even more of the in-between thanks to my amazing support system, led by my by husband, whom makes all of this possible… in more ways than one.}

I know this is a means to an end.
{Seeing my childhood dreams come to fruition.)
I know that there is an end-point.
{With small milestones to keep up the faith.}
I know that it will all be worth it.
{Doing what I was created to do will be worth all of it.}

I know all of this, but I think the part that people {well meaning, supportive, loving people} forget about is the middle part.  The hard part.  {The part that is currently the driving force behind the chips and licorice I am currently consuming.}

I know I will make it through this, even if it means I get a dreaded B.  Hopefully I can also pick up some better coping mechanisms along the way.